


Soul Connection

by choicosandae



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Friendship, Minor Character Death, Slice of Life, Social Issues, Suicide Attempt, family lost, i really dont know how to tag, mention of suicide, soulmates kinda?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25206739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choicosandae/pseuds/choicosandae
Summary: how do you fix a broken soul? are people even willing to help someone who is broken as a shattered vase?what if a voice told you to save seven lives? are you up for that journey?“There are countless of dimensions in our universe, in one dimension you have already died. I’m just here to prevent that from happening in ours”
Kudos: 2





	Soul Connection

**Author's Note:**

> hi, its me sanniesideup_ from twitter, this is actually my entry for the ateez storyline event but it didn’t got through the first round but im really proud of my work and i hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Warning: Grammatical errors ahead

Everyday we cross paths with people who are unknown to us, we never know if we will encounter them once again. Some feels a connection when crossing paths to an unknown stranger or even to a person who you might know but never shared a word with. Even when you felt the strange connection you never say a word, afraid of the reason why there was a connection to begin with. It could be a bad connection or a good one, no one knows because no one tried to reach out.

Why are there even bad connections to begin with? They only lead us to chaos and destruction, it could start good and you will believe that it’s really good but in the end it will turn agaist you. They said it’s better to trust no one, that way you can protect yourself from every evil around you.

Evil? What is evil? Is there evil within us? Is everyone hiding a bit of darkness within? Darkness comes in many forms, it can be depression, death, bullying, abuse, lost, other mental illnesses or even just anger. Every negativity that life brings can be darkness but sometimes the darkest point in your lives will bring you into a new beginning.

_ “I’m all alone, someone please wake me up” _

_ “If you go I go, there’s no meaning if we’re not together”  _

_ “Should I give up? Everything seems dark and dull”  _

_ “Who’s San? All memories of him are dead” _

_ “A lowlife like me doesn’t deserve anything” _

_ “You are now on your own, trust no one”  _

_ “Do I deserve someone new to call a friend?” _

_ “ A voice said I should help, that’s why I’m here” _

Eight teenagers who struggles in life will one day cross paths again with one another, having no familiarity with each other they will feel their souls are somehow all connected. A connection no one could understand but somehow brings the best of each of them.

“A soul connection?” one whispered after his co-worker finished his long dialogue about hearing a conversation between kids the other day.

“Lame isn’t it? Kids nowadays will believe everything that can be see on the internet” his voice became muted to the boy’s ears who was stuck in a trance.

His co-worker continued talking but everything seems to revolve around the two words he heard, soul connection.

Soul connection? what is that? Is that something good or bad? Why does it have a big impact on me the boy questioned himself.

“Hey?” He shook his head and looked at his friend who was already raising a brow at him.

“Sorry, I got distracted” he tried playing it off cooly but deep down he knew he got affected by those two words.

“If you really want to know a soul connection is when a number of people feel they are linked on a soul level in a significant way. The person you have a soul connection with can bring the best out of you and can actually help you“ his friend explained while giving him the broom he was holding.

“I don’t know why you are so bothered with that, continue cleaning your shifts end in two hours” 

—————————————

** I. Memory **

“Leave my house now! Your begging will not do you any good! Leave immediately or I’ll call the cops!” She firmly pushed me outside and closed the front door with a loud tud. 

“You can’t kick me out all of my belongings are inside!” I screamed while banging on the door.

“Auntie don’t do this please!” Tears were slowly falling from my eyes but I continued banging on the door. I didn’t care if our neighbors will find this scene sad or horrifying but I couldn’t leave knowing I have nothing.

“Those filthy things you called belongings will be thrown tomorrow at the trash! If you want them, collect them at the trash tomorrow you filthy creature! Now leave Seonghwa!” I banged at the door one more time before finally giving up. I ruffled my hair out of frustration and wiped my tears, why is she this difficult? 

I looked at my said home for more than 10 years before finally turning my back and started walking to God knows where.

I was walking down the road, nowhere to go and having no idea who to call. I was all alone and having nothing with me but just 5 dollar cash on my pocket and a phone who only has 10 % battery life left. Obviously luck was never at my side especially in days like these. Why did everybody leave? Why does everybody push me away? Why does no one want me? Am I that unlovable? Am I really a nuisance to everyone’s lives? 

No one loves me, no one wants to be around me. My Dad died when I was only Eight, my aunt practically hates my guts that’s why she kicked me out from her house, everyone from my high school pretends I don’t exist and my mom is nowhere to be seen.

“Mom” I whispered while looking up tears were obviously falling from my face.

Is she still alive? I don’t know her name or even her address but I remember how dad described her scent. He said she smelled like freshly brewed tea in the morning with a hint of honey.

It’s sad to know the only memory I have with my mother is her scent. Sometimes I smell freshly brewed tea with honey everytime I sleep, it was like I was dreaming about her within a dream. I feel like I could hold her and see her even though everything was dark.

I don’t know what was her reason for leaving me after I was born, dad didn’t tell me cause I was too young and auntie doesn’t want me to mention mom because she hates her guts even more.

“I’m all alone, someone please wake me up” I whispered.

I wish this was all a dream, a bad dream that I could wake up at any moment too.

Can I find mom? Is she willing to accept a broken a child of hers? Maybe not.

I stopped my tracks and leaned to the railings of the bridge. I took out the one thing my back pocket was holding, it was my father’s bracelet. He gave me this before he died from the car crash. I carry this with me every single day, I didn’t care how old it was but this was the only comfort I had since he left.

I remembered his last words were:

_ “Give this to someone who will save you like how your mother saved me, you will know in the right time” _

I remembered giggling after he said that having no idea what he meant but now I’m older I understand what he was trying to say. 

Mom somehow saved dad , maybe mom owns this bracelet and she gave it to him after saving him. 

Does he expect someone to save me?

I laughed but it was not because of amusement but because of pain.

“No one will love, care or even save me, even if they tried I am too broken at this point” I looked at my right and begun to think deeply.

Will someone still save me? Will someone still save a person who is unloved and abandoned? I doubt someone will, I would not even save myself.

A broken soul is hard to save, it requires time and patience. People get tired easily, no one has the time of day to save someone who is too broken even the shattered pieces within are also shattered.

What if.. what if I end my life now? 

I turned my back and saw the view, atleast If I end my life now I saw this lovely view of the city. 

A city full of opportunities, hope and chances, too bad life isn’t that perfect.

“Mom, do you think there is still a chance for me to reach those opportunities in life? Do you think someone will miraculously appear and helped me?” I wiped my tears and let out a nervous exhale. 

“Here is my end” I leaped over the handles to the other side, only a small block preventing my fall. 

One small jump and everything is finally over. One small jump and maybe I could be finally be in peace. 

Will I really be in peace? Or will I just be stuck in darkness all over again?

I was about to finally jump down but someone held my hand preventing me to do so. 

“Who said this was the end?” 

————————————

** II. Brother **

“What do you mean he left? Mom answer me truthfully!” I screamed at her, I was completely shaking and tears were slowly forming.

He can’t leave, please no. We both made a pact, we promised one another we will be together no matter what, we promised each other that we will fullfill every goal and dream we have together. 

“Yunho please calm down” she tried reaching out but I pulled my hand immediately and looked at her disgustingly.

“You’re the reason why he left, you’re the reason why he left our family! This is like dad all over again” tears were already falling like waterfalls, I didn’t bother to wipe them because on how frustrated I feel right now.

“Your dad left because he was cheating on me! That’s a whole other case compared to your worthless brother!” She screamed back at me. 

I felt my hands were forming a fist, the anger I’m feeling now is uncomparable than the night I was mad because Dad left us. 

“He cheated on you because you made him feel unloved everyday! Its the same story with him! You made him feel unloved and always favored me even though I hated it!” I combed my hair using my hands to try calm myself down but I can’t. 

My older brother, he was my only friend. He was the only one who understood everything I did. He understood everything that I want, even though they were sometimes too ambitious he would still support me. My mom hated him for that, he had different views from my mother which resulted to the everyday verbal abuse he was receiving but he never showed me the pain he felt. He kept on smiling and telling me one day everything will be fine and one day we will both be happy.

“Yunho, I am your mother! Everything will be alright even if your stupid brother left!” She yelled which made me look at her again. A sly smirked left my lips. Everything will be alright? Lies. 

Stop telling me lies! Stop telling me everything will be alright even though it will never be alright! I don’t want lies I want my brother! 

“You have no say on what should I feel” I gave her one last disgusted look before Itook my phone and ran outside the door. 

If he’s leaving then I’m leaving too. 

I heard her screamed my name but I ignored her. I didn’t know where to go but I continued running. 

Running. 

Running. 

Running. 

It was getting dark when I stopped for a moment. I looked at my surroundings and realized I arrived at the city, this is way far from home. I took out my phone from my pocket and texted my brother hoping and praying he will reply. 

_ Where are you? _

_ Please answer.. _

_ Im completely lost.. _

_ Yunho... _

_ Don’t come looking for me _

_ It’s not worth it _

_ Go back home to mom _

_ What are you saying _

_ If you go I go, there’s no meaning if we’re not together _

_ Stop being stubborn  _

_ You’re still a kid _

_ You cant understand  _

_ You won’t find me  _

_ I’m leaving for good _

_ Bye. _

Tears were starting to fall again, why is he being selfish. This isn’t him, this isn’t my brother. What did mom say to him for him to push me away like this? 

What am I supposed to do when your gone? All the dreams we built together, how am I to achieve it by myself? There is no meaning to this dream if you are not beside me. 

I was completely shaking but I took all my will power and read his texts again I then concluded he was going somewhere far but with his savings he could only afford a ride on the train station. 

I took a deep breath in before I started running, heading to the train station.

All of my senses were getting darker, I couldn’t hear, see and even feel. The only thing on my mind was getting my brother back on my side. Call me names all you want but I couldn’t survive without him. 

It was not my first time in the city but I couldn’t tell where is where. I’m still young, I basically still needed guidance from an adult who has been here before. 

I continued running until I saw a sign saying where the train station was.

I didn’t know what was going on around my surroundings as I run, I just felt the floor when someone tackled me to the ground. 

I blinked a few times, people were slowly surrounding me and the person who was laying on top of me. 

“Oh dear lord, that man almost got hit by a car” a woman whispered but I heard her perfectly.

I was almost hit by a car? I almost died?

I looked at the man infront of me who has fear inside his eyes.

“Are you trying to kill yourself? You’re lucky I was fast enough to save you” 

—————————————

** III. Time **

I was walking alone at park looking up at the night sky.

“Twinkle Twinkle” I hummed.

They all said look up at the sky full of stars, they represent the beauty of life and the possible opportunities life has to offer.

The beauty of life? The possible opportunities? What’s are those? 

They said countless of times ‘There should be equal opportunities for all’ but does society follow that? The world is unfair, unequal and only the superior will get the greater opportunities in life had to offer. It’s been like that for years even centuries. 

If your ignorant, you will never see the unequal treatment the world gives to every individual. They said we need change but how do you change a system that is run by the people who doesn’t want change. 

“Little star, how I wonder what you are” I continued humming.

They said wish when you see a falling star, but why wish upon a dead planet? Wishing and believing this sayings gives false hope to the innocent. 

The innocent will believe anything you say to them, they are easily manipulated that’s why they are easy victims. 

I was once a believer but look at me now, a broken soul in a constant loop. 

Stars are like people when it comes to giving hope. People tend to give you false hopes whenever they can, people tend to fool you and make you the loser in the end. 

For example people believing in pyramid schemes, they promise you a wonderful life if you donate big amounts of cash but in the end you are fooled and you lose everything. 

The innocent really are easy to fool especially if they are promised wealth, luxury and opportunities in the end. 

“Up above the world so high” tears were slowly forming but I quickly wiped them away. 

The world is a cruel place its full of people only wanting and liking you for your achievements or for your beauty. They said all people are beautiful but does everyone believe that? Maybe some who wants peace and serenity but for the people who are selfish and power hungry they will never see that. 

They showcase skinny women and muscular men on tv, making the younger and innocent audience to follow that standard. If they don’t reached that standard they will feel bad about their bodies and their true beauty.

The true beauty of people are within, inner beauty some say. Inner beauty, I believe everyone has that but only a few embrace it. I am part of the people who don’t embrace it, I used to but now I don’t.

“Like a diamond in the sky” Everytime I look at the sky the only thing I see is darkness, darkness that is slowly eating me alive. 

They said the stars are beautiful but why can’t I see it? Why can’t I appreciate it like when I was just a young boy? 

I looked down at my feet and let out a long and heavy sighed. 

“Obviously you are the problem,Yeosang” I whispered.

I was born being to self conscious about everything, I always cared what people think that’s why I became to shy to even speak up about anything. I couldn’t even say the word ‘hi’ without getting nervous about the person’s reaction to it. Some says this is a good thing but I never saw the good in it? Opportunities were less for me because I couldn’t stand up for myself, I don’t have any courage at all and most importantly I was like shadow. A shadow that is constantly being ignored and is thought to just follow the one who is leading.

They said I have bright future ahead of me, I was top of my class when I was in freshman year but It all crumbled down when people started to look down on me.

Who do you think you are, they said. Do you think you’re better than us, they shouted. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t fight back. They pushed me, they teased me and they even embarrassed me infront of everyone. 

All the humiliation and bullying I received until now was seen by everyone but nobody helped. No one cared about Kang Yeosang.

I ruffled hair and looked at the sky again.

“Should I give up? Everything seems dark and dull” I whispered. 

No stars could be seen in my eyes, even they say the stars are shining I couldn’t appreciate them. All I see is darkness and a blank void to nothing. 

The darkness I see represents all the feelings I have bottled up inside, anger, fear and sadness. 

I continued walking and I didn’t realize I was not looking at my way properly. I bumbed into a person who has been doing God knows what.

I fell to the ground because of the impact of our bumb.

“Sorry” I muttered trying to get up but couldn’t, I think I sprained my ankle? 

“Hey are you okay? Do you want me to carry you?” 

—————————————

** IV. Resolution  **

“Shut up! You know damn well why we are moving!” She slammed the front door while dragging me to come with her to the car.

“Mom stop yelling at dad” I whispered, tears falling from my face.

Why was life unfair? All I wanted was a happy family, a good school year and a trouble free life but here I am now. My parents are fighting, my mom pulling me out of school and the constant verbal abuse I get from everybody. 

“You have no say in this Choi San, get in the car” I stood still and shaked my head, i dont want to.

“Don’t make me hurt you young man, get in the freaking car!” I continued being stubborn and tried pulling my arm away from her. Her nails were digging in my skin and it was starting to create marks, if she digs her nails harder my arm could bleed.

“Let go of me” I tried pleading while continuingto get my arm from her but it was no use. She obviously got pissed at my actions that’s why she raised her hand signaling me she’s about to slap me.

“Don’t test me” I shook my head harder but immediately stopped when I felt her hand hit my cheek.

“WHY DID YOU HIT HIM?” dad screamed.

“Your son is being a brat! Why did you gave me a son who is practically useless and a selfish brat!” She finally removed her hand from mine and walked into the passenger seat. 

I was still in shock by the impact of the slap. It was not the first time she layed her hands on me but this can be considered part of the most painful ones, verbally and physically.

My dad went near me patting my head, trying to calm me down.

“San get inside, don’t make your mother more angry than she is right now” I slowly nodded and went inside the back seat of the car. 

The whole drive was just full of my parents bickering. They kept on arguing about the whole move, my dad hates the idea of leaving the old house but mom kept insisting it was his fault.

Was this the life really for me? My voice was never heard, no one was willing to listen to a broken soul. 

Was this the life I want myself to have? I felt like a prisoner everyday having the same routine. I felt like I was being prepared to one day be disposed. Is this really what I want? 

I can’t do this, I want more in life than to be stuck in this cycle wherein I’m just gonna regret not doing something sooner.

I want to forget the old Choi San, the old Choi San who was afraid and vulnerable at every given situation. 

“San is sick of his life” I whispered making sure no one heard me. 

I am sick of this, I can’t do this anymore.

When the light turned red, I saw that as an opportunity. I immediately removed my seatbelt and jumped out of the car. Not caring if people who were following our car found me crazy or idiotic.

I heard my mom screaming for my name but I ignored her. 

Who’s San? The old San is dead. 

I kept running and running, I don’t know where to go but one things for sure I felt more alive than ever. 

Alive and free, that is what my heart is screaming right now. The old san will surely regret not doing this sooner because finally after years of suffering I could finally breathe. 

I stopped running when I noticed there were no cars or even people passing by the road I’m at. 

“Where am I?” I was running fast not knowing where my feet were taking me, I think I’m lost? 

“Who cares if I’m lost I’m finally free!” I screamed.

I pulled out my phone and saw a bunch of messages from my older sister who was living in another country, leaving me to suffer alone.

Contacting me after 8 years, I see?

After reading all her text, she called me. From her messages I know she was furious but I didn’t care. 

I didn’t picked up the first call but when she called again, I started thinking. I didn’t know if I should answer or not but after debating I picked up her call. 

“ARE YOU INSANE CHOI SAN? JUMPING OUT A MOVING CAR? DO YOU KNOW MOM ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK BECAUSE OF YOU?”  I rolled my eyes at her statement.

“It was not moving, I left during a red light” 

“ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CHOI SAN FOR DOING THAT?”  I clutched at my phone tightly after hearing her frustrated and tired voice.

If she’s that frustrated how about me who suffered years because of our family.

“SAN ANSWER ME, YOU’RE A KID WHO HAS NOTHING TO BRAG WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS! YOU HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT MOM AND DAD SO GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THAT CAR AND APOLOGIZE”  I took a deep breath out before finally answering her.

“Who’s San? All memories of him are dead”

I ended the call and threw my phone to God knows where. 

Im so sick of everything, Im so sick of everyone who has a say in my life. I want a fresh new start, I want to forget the old San who was just pushed around and constantly being verbally abused just because he had other plans for what people want for him. 

Who cares if I have nothing, having nothing makes it more easier for me to start anew. 

“Goodbye San” I whispered to myself. 

I was about to continue walking having no clue where to go when a pickup truck pulled up to me. 

I starred for a few minutes before the window rolled down revealing an unknown man.

“You seem lost? Let me help you”

———————————

** V. Diary **

“Mingi, your here early? Your shift is at night, right?” I bowed to my coworker and shook my head. 

“I took extra shifts, you know I’m a bit low on cash these days” he hummed in response and handed me a broom. 

“Clean studio 2 and 4, students will be filling those rooms up later at 6 o’clock” I nodded and headed my way to the studio.

I was all alone, metaphorically and literally. I was a abandoned at the age of 4, the only reason I survived because an adoption house took me in until I was 18. 

I’ve been working at this studio since I was 15, the owner was really nice by accepting a kid to work here. I took extra shifts when I needed more money for food or school, the owner offered to help me financially but I couldn’t accept. I’m to embarrassed to accept any money especially if I know I don’t deserve it.That’s why I work hard, working hard deserves a little reward at the end.

While sweeping the floor, I suddenly remembered that I used to love dancing when I was a kid. The sisters of the orphanage always loved when I danced for events, they always told me that one day I’ll be a great dancer. 

“Great dancer my ass” I whispered. 

A lot have questioned me if I have dreams because I work so hard everyday and I have great talents within but the only responds that I could give was a light laugh.

How could I dream when I’m like this? I’m part of the chain who needs to work hard to gain some cash just so I can eat, sleep and have a proper education. Other kids have their parents for this or someone to financially support them, that’s why they have time to think about having a dream. 

What do I deserve really? Do I deserve to dream like others? 

“A lowlife like me doesn’t deserve anything”

Living without dreaming is a normal thing for a guy like me. I’m poor and I’m a complete nobody, dreaming is for the people who can actually achieve them not for me. 

Dreams are sometimes a metaphor for the future, the other times its about the actual future that you want. How can I have those when my future is unclear? I doubt I could even reach 25 at this point of my life.

“Dreams, what a waste of time” I whispered, tears slowly falling on my cheeks. 

Dreaming leads to expectations and expectations leads to disappointments. My life is a whole disappointment I don’t need more of that. 

“Dreaming are for the people who has something to bring to the world and that’s not me” 

I sat down on the floor, head hung low while I hug my knees. 

I give up, why is life completely unfair? What if I want to dream for a better future for myself but can’t knowing where I stand. 

How could I dream if I can’t even afford a proper meal for myseld? I can’t even buy soap every month. 

“Stupid life” I said while sobbing.

A small knock was heard in the room, so i stood right away and bowed while trying to wipe my tears away.

This is embarrassing.

“Sorry for slacking off” I said in a fast manner while trying to go back to work. 

The person who knocked came near me and held my hand which made me raise a brow at him. 

Wait, who is this man? He doesn’t work here?

“Hey don’t give up , do you need a hand?” 

———————————

** VI. Choice **

“You were the best among the best, Wooyoung! “ He screamed.

I tried covering my ears but he immediately swatted my hands before I did. 

“You had a good reputation in your school, you were one of the greatest dancers the school had molded and you were at the top of your class! All those you gave up for what? To be with your friends who can’t do anything good for you?” He continued while holding my face tightly.

He was furious, I would be furious too knowing my situation now but the way he is angry at me was like a volcano asleep for years finally being awoken. But who wouldn’t be angry after what have happened to me?

Everything was perfect, I had everything every teenager dreamt of having but I threw all of it away.

I was treated like a king because of my reputation at school. Every teacher loved me because I was active in class and I had good grades, I was never absent in any of my classes and they also found me amusing on how loud I am. Every student adored me, freshmen students treat me like a role model and the older ones treat me like a friend or even a younger brother that they never had. I was friendly and sociable, that’s why everyone wants to be my friend. 

But I felt something was wrong. People want me to be their friend for their own benefit not because they like me. I didn’t want to be used so I searched for people who will like me not because of my status.

The friends I considered as family were not from my school but I met them during the summer 2 years ago. They were rebellious but they took care of me when everybody hopes for me were getting to high. One thing I alsosuffered for many years was people’s expectations for me, I was always afraid to ruin it but their expectations always lead to my victory.

They expected me to get the highest grades? I studied hard to achieve the expectation. They expected me to be the main dancer of the dance team? I worked hard until I got promoted.

It was the easy path in life but I chose against that. My new friends taught me how to win against people’s expectations by doing the opposite. They said if I did the opposite and followed them life would be more exciting. They were all wrong.

By doing the opposite it lead me here. My scholarship being taken away, my grades flunking so bad and the school kicking me out of the dance team. The worst part is one more violation I could be expelled from school. 

The people who I treated as family broke me and broke the people who were actually rooting for my success.

“Jung Wooyoung, I am so embarrassed that you are my son” He spat and pushed me away which lead me to be seated on the ground. 

“Get out of my sight” that was his last words before he turned his back on me and left the room. 

Tears were already falling but I immediately wiped them away. I don’t want to let them know that I am weak after everything I have built got destroyed.

I immediately stood up and took the keys of his car. If he wants me to get out of his sight, better yet I’m bringing his car with me. 

I drove to one place I know I will somehow feel safe, a place where the true Wooyoung is more vulnerable.

Arriving at the place I bowed at one of the afternoon workers who cleaned the area. I placed my bag at the corner of the room and sat down infront of the mirror 

The dance studio near my university was a safe place, the staff didn’t know who I was and treated me like a regular person. 

I looked at my reflection and the only thing I saw was a broken soul. I look so worn out and unhappy, I couldn’t even force I smile out. 

“You are now on your own, trust no one” I whispered while still looking at my reflection.

No one will help me the way I want them to help. No one could understand what I feel, they only understand the outer layer of my feelings but not the inner core. 

I have more to give than just being a dancer, a perfect student and a perfect son. Jung Wooyoung has more to offer to the world if he is just given a chance to do so.

“Will someone understand me one day?” I cried.

“Maybe I can?” I immediately looked at the door of the studio and there I saw a man who I didn’t know waved at me.

“Do you perhaps want to talk about it? I can help” 

———————————

** VII. Wanderings **

“You staying?” My teacher asked, I nodded and went to seat on the bench. 

I watched all of my classmates and teachers leave the basketball court, leaving me all alone. I didn’t want to come with them knowing they will just ignore me the whole day.

Some of my teachers got used to me being like this knowing I was still new in this school. They also understood that I have no one to call a friend because half of my classmates were scared of me.

Scared because they saw me as a threat? Scared because they I’m bigger than them? I don’t actually know but I ignore it. I don’t have time to wonder why they ignore me and are scared of me.

“I miss my old life” I whispered.

Why did I agree leaving our old home to come here in the city? The city is obviously not for me.

I remember my last memory from my old home, my bestfriend.

_ “Jongho, you’re leaving?” I nodded and hugged him tightly. _

_ “Don’t worry one day I’ll come back for you and we will be together once again” he cried in my shoulder loudly while clutching my shirt tightly. _

_ I didn’t want to cry infront of him but I’m gonna miss my bestfriend for sure. I tried acting tough but the way he cried broke me so bad inside. _

_ His tears were like lava, it burns when it touched my skin and the sounds he was making, even birds could cry from how painful it was.  _

_ I cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eye.  _

_ His eyes were so sad and broken, I felt the pang on my chest upon looking at it. _

_ “Wait for me okay? I’ll comeback” those were my last words before I left him. _

10 year old Jongho made a promise that present Jongho couldn’t accomplish. Life was just that unfair, me and my bestfriend stopped communicating onced I arrived here knowing mom can’t afford long distance calls. 

We weren’t rich and mom was having a hard time since she carried the role of a single mother. Dad left us before we went to the city because he doesn’t want to be with mom anymore. I saw that coming but It still hurt when I saw mom crying that day while hugging me. 

My bestfriend, he was the only one who saw my pain during the time I was sensing my father will leave us someday. He knew how to made me laugh and smile, that’s why I treasure him until now.

I hope one day we will see again and we’ll just hug without speaking. Action speaks louder than words, one hug can scream the longing we have with each other. 

“Why can’t you make new friends?” I asked myself while looking down.

Losing him, losing one of my closest friend made me scared in making new friends, scared in doing the same mistake again. 

I felt like my experience traumatize me to continue moving foward. I felt so lost because of that mistake, I felt like I was just wandering and finding the old Jongho. 

“Where am I now, Where should I go?” I asked.

I feel like Im just in a constant loop finding the way out but can’t. I feel so lost I can’t understand myself anymore. I feel like I’m stuck in the dark walking and walking having no clue where to go.

Losing a friend made me so lost in life, is gaining one gonna make me find the light again?

“Do I deserve someone new to call a friend?”

They say friends come and go, but I don’t want them to go. I wanna treasure them forever. I feel like every person who comes to my life has a specific meaning to it, they don’t just appear without a reason. 

While still looking from the ground I felt a presence by my side. I looked at the person who was sitting by my side and raised a brow.

I didn’t know who he was but his hair sure does stick out. 

“Do you need anything?” He shook his head and handed me the ball he was holding.

“Can you be my friend?” 

———————————

** VIII. The Man With The Black Fedora **

Everything seems dark, where am I?

I started walking, I didn’t know where to go to but I just walked straight.

“Hello?” I asked but the only response I got was an echo of my voice.

Where am I? Earlier I was writing songs for my music class assignment, how did I end up here?

I continued walking even though I couldn’t see a thing, is this a dream? 

Am I dreaming right now? Am I trap inside a dream just full of darkness?

“Follow the light” someone whispered that made me jump.

Who was that?

I looked around the darkness then I saw the light from far away calling out my name. It was whispering my name softly like a mother taking care of her first born child.

I run towards it.

While nearing to the said light I could hear different voices and started seeing visions of people I never met before.

_ a man who wants to end his life by falling from a bridge  _

_ a man searching for someone gets hit by a fast vehicle  _

_ a man who sees no color in life needing help _

_ a man who got lost while running away from home _

_ a man who sees no hope for himself, practically giving up _

_ a man who needs someone to understand him fully and fix everything  _

_ a man who has no clue what to do in life and scared to come out from his shell _

7 different people? 

Wait.. I have seen them before? But where? Why are they familiar somehow?

I immediately stopped running when I saw a man standing behind the light. 

“Save them, gather them, help them” The man said while looking at me straight.

He was tall, wearing a mask and a black fedora. His eyes were the only feature I see and his voice was deep, deeper than the sea maybe. He was holding a hourglass, it was shining bright but one thing caught my attention. It was flowing backwards. 

“What?” I questioned, he went near me and held my hand.

It felt like electricity.

“It’s not the reality that makes you lose your dreams; it is your decision” 

———————————

** Last. Dream **

_ “There are countless dimensions in the world” he said before disappearing. _

I immediately sat straight breathing rapidly, that was an unsual dream.

I stretched my body from left to right but stopped right away when I saw the same hourglass I saw from my dream beside me. 

It wasn’t a dream? 

I looked at the hour glass closer and saw it was really flowing backwards. It was somehow telling me to reverse time? to change time.

I was shaking trying to recall what happened in my dream.

Walking into darkness.

Hearing a voice.

Seeing the light.

Following the light.

Seeing a vision about the 7 souls.

Wait...

“Those 7 souls” I immediately stood up from the sofa and packed the necessary things i needed for my long journey. 

“Save them, gather them, help them” 

I saw them all die and lead there life into darkness. Was that from another dimension? The fedora man said there are countless of dimensions in the world, was that one of them?

I was given a mission to save all of them. I was given a task to gather and help those 7 broken souls. 

“Lets do this Hongjoong” 

Before heading out I remembered I don’t know where these people live, I just have vague clues from the scenes I saw in my dream. Remembering those scene it seems it took place in different times and different places.

“I think I need to bring dad’s pick up truck” 

The first one I searched for was the boy who was about to end his life by jumping off the bridge. The bridge in my dream looked like the bridge near the university I attend so I went there.

I stopped the pick up at the end of the bridge and there I saw the said boy leaping to the opposite side of the bridge. I run as fast as I could and grabbed his arm before he could jump.

“Who said this was the end?” I said to him pulling him back to the safer ground. Hugging him tightly because after pulling him he cried so painfully. 

He was also shaking so badly so I held him tight. I rubbed circles on his back and whispered encouraging words to make him feel calm. 

“W-who are you? Why are you saving me?” I shook my head and offered him my hand.

“Come with me, I’ll explain everything later” He was hesitant at first but he agreed and held my hand. 

The electric feeling I felt when the fedora man held me, I felt it again. Weird.

One down, six more to go.

The second one I went to was the boy who was searching for someone. I told Seonghwa to stay in the truck, he told me his name after driving for hours.We also discovered that we go to the same university and had met a few times but never actually interacted with one another. He said I was too intimidating to talked to which made me playfully punch him on the shoulder. 

We arrived at the city and it was already nearing night time. 

After going out the truck I saw the boy instantly, he was running and I could see the car that was about to hit him.

This made me panic and fear started to run up to my veins. With all my power I ran up to him and pushed him away from the streets causing a big commotion from the crowd of passerby.

How could this man be this stupid to not look at the road? 

“Are you trying to kill yourself? You’re lucky I was fast enough to save you” he looked at me questionably which made me ruffle my hair out of frustration.

I stood up and pulled him up, well he sure is taller than me. 

“Come with me, I’m here to help you” He raised his brows, looking at me full of confusion.

“Just trust me!” I started pulling him to the pick up where Seonghwa greeted us with a smile. 

“Welcome aboard to Captain Hongjoong’s ship or pick up truck, whatever you wanna call it” I rolled my eyes at Seonghwa and opened up the back seat where the guy could seat. 

I started driving while Seonghwa was trying to talk to Yunho, he said that was his name. 

Seonghwa has a mother like aura, making Yunho a bit comfortable during the whole ride. This made me smile, Seonghwa was the key to make everyone not panic and feel comfortable onto this adventure.

“Yunho I think I know you from somewhere, have you perhaps went to the city library?” Yunho nodded at Seonghwa’s question. 

“That’s why you’re familiar! I used to go there everyday to avoid people” I rolled my eyes again as they continue to converse.

Yunho was a nice guy, he and Seonghwa got along immediately. He was like a bear, loud and huggable but I didn’t say that to his face.

I decided to stop at the public park to rest for a moment, the two of them agreed.

While trying to take take a nap I felt something unsual, I looked at the window immediately and there I saw the man who sees no color in life. 

I carefully went out not waking up the two sleeping boys and walked quietly to the said boy. 

I didn’t want to startle him so I waited for him to walk into me since he was not looking at his direction.

Well that plan sucks, cause it created a huge impact for him which resulted him to fall on his butt. 

He mumbled a sorry before trying to stand but he had a hard time, I think he sprained his ankle. 

You were suppose to save him not injured him, I mentally yelled at myself.

I squatted infront of him and offered him my hand.

“Hey are you okay? Do you want me to carry you?”He looked at me startled and shook his head. 

“W-what no! You’re a stranger, what if you’re a bad guy” I gave him a smile and turn my back at him signaling I could give him a piggy back ride.

“Trust me” He was hesitant but he eventually put his arms around me.

I felt the electricity again. The electricity I felt holding them were getting stronger, what is this?

I shook of my thoughts and continued walking.

While walking back to my pick up, he introduced himself as Yeosang. 

“Kim Hongjoong? Your name is oddly familiar? I think I heard that name when I was visiting my uncle, he teaches at your school ” this made me raise my brow.

“Do you know someone named Seonghwa and Yunho?” He taught for awhile before nodding his head.

“Park Seonghwa and you go to the same school right? And Yunho I think I saw him once with a older guy buying drinks in Starbucks. I heard someone yelled Jeong Yunho, one venti iced americano” I nodded and continued walking.

All of us met once or twice in this universe? Is this what they called Soul Connection? Our souls are somehow connected with one another and here I am trying to help them to the brighter path.

Arriving at the car, I saw Seonghwa leaning at the back looking up the stars.

“Your up?” Yeosang hopped carefully off my back and went inside the pick up to rest cause his ankle was already killing him.

“Yeah, I noticed you were gone” I went beside him and also looked up.

The stars were indeed shining this night.

“Why are you doing this, Hongjoong? You don’t know any of us but you are here helping each one of us. Why is that?” I lightly smiled.

“I saw all of you die and went into a dark place from a dream, Im here to save all of you and help you” He immediately looked at me with wide eyes.

“You saw us die?” 

“There are countless of dimensions in the universe, in one dimension you have already died. I’m just here to prevent that from happening in ours” He was still obviously shocked by my statement so I looked him in the eye and held his hand.

Here comes the electric feeling.

“Seonghwa, don’t worry. I’m doing this because It’s my decision, and my decision is to help all 7 of you” tears started to fall from his eyes and then he scoop me up into a tight hug. 

“Thank you Hongjoong, truly thank you” he whispered. I hugged him back with the same tight feeling while rubbing circles at his back.

He had a rough day it was understandable why he was so overwhelmed with emotions. I tried my best comforting him, I even sang him a song. 

“That’s beautiful what is it called?” He whispered.

“Aurora, I composed it” He nodded while crying harder. 

‘I’ll protect all of them’ I thought to myself.

They were all so precious, I get why Fedora man want me to gather and helped them.

After that long talk we had we continued on our journey on finding the others. 

The next one was the man who got lose because he ran away from home. The vision of him was unclear because it was just him running on nowhere. 

“There are like hundreds of abandoned roads here, how are you gonna find him?” Yeosang asked while munching on the takeouts we ordered earlier. 

“Luck I guess” Yunho said while driving the car.

He volunteered to drive because he saw how tired I was from driving all day yesterday. 

I was about to protest but I remembered he was bigger than me like way bigger. I looked like a child next to him, especially me wearing these baggy clothes. 

We headed down to abandoned road near the city, the road had nothing. There were no stores or even gas stations, cars rarely drive there because of the stories old people tell about ghost and serial killers.

“Is that him?” Yeosang asked while pointing to the guy who was walking at the side of the road.

“Yeah, I think that’s the runaway” Yunho drove a bit faster and pulled up near the boy.

The guy starred at the vehicle, I signaled Yunho to lower down the window and offer the guy a ride.

“You seem lost? Let me help you” I immediately smack him in the arm because of that cringe line he dropped.

“Yunho, that sounded so weird!” Seonghwa laughed.

I looked at the boy who was looking confuse on what’s happening.

“Hey I’m Kim Hongjoong, I’m here to help you. Hop in I’ll explain along the way” the boy shrugged and immediately went inside the car and sat near Yeosang. 

“Well that was easy?” Yeosang said while laughing. 

His name was San and he runned away from his parents because he felt suffocated. Seonghwa immediately became a mother figure and hugged San and comforted him.

Yunho pointed out that San and him went to the same elementary school before, which made Yeosang also point out that San was a regular at her mother’s bake shop.

All of us indeed met before, this is not a coincidence this is destiny.

We headed next to a studio, a bit far from the city. The studio in my vision was obviously not from the city because of the signs it had and luckily two of broken souls are in that studio. 

“Are you sure that’s the studio? It looks old?” I nodded after seeing the similar signs I saw from my dream.

Upon arriving, San volunteered to help me talk to the boys inside the studio since I can’t talk to them both at the same time.

He went to the guy who needs someone to understand him, San said he can somehow relate to him that’s why he will be the one to talking to him. 

“Me and that dude will be bestfriend after this, I declare it to the nameless fedora man!” I laughed and lightly hit him in the head. 

I on the other hand went to the guy who sees no hope for himself.

I somehow also relate to this guy, having no hope in oneself has been an issue I have since I was young.

I dreamt about being a producer because of my love for music but knowing how hard to get in the entertainment industry, I lost hope that I could do it. My parents encouraged me to continue but I was scared to be slapped in the face by reality that’s why I decided to quit my dreams.

Maybe finding these guys would help me back on my feat and find my true dreams, to find my true treasure. Maybe the true treasure could be found by all of us?

I entered the room carefully and there I saw him sitting on the floor crying that’s why I decited to knocked on the door because I didn’t want to startle him.

He immediately stood up and said sorry, he then went back to cleaning.

I slowly went near him and held his hand, making him jerk back and raising his brow. 

“Hey don’t give up, do you need a hand?” He immediately shook his head and tried removing my hand from his but I shook my head.

“Trust me” I again said but shook his head.

He was obviously the most difficult one to talk to I see, I should have brought Seonghwa with me. 

“I’m here to help you” I gave him a sweet smile trying to show how sincere I am in helping him.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I’m here to help you” 

“Why” he questioned.

“A voice said I should help, that’s why I’m here” He raised his brows again and looked at me full of confusion.

“Are you like crazy?” I shook my head immediately and looked at him offensively.

“I am no where near crazy, I’m being sincere here. Trust me, me and the others won’t hurt you anymore”he slowly nodded while handing me the broom. 

“Let’s finish cleaning first” he said with a small smile.

We cleaned up the studio before I offered him to come with me. He was hesitant at first but I told him to just trust and believe in me.

Upon arriving at the pick up truck I saw San and the other guy at the back of my truck sitting together while San was hugging him tightly. 

San sure was a hugger. 

The boy was crying loudly while san tried to calm him down saying he will never leave him. San really is planning to make him his best friend . 

I led Mingi to take a seat at the back where San used to seat and Seonghwa immediately open his arms wide welcoming him.

“Welcome to Captain Hongjoong’s pickup truck!” Yeosang and Yunho screamed making Mingi startled but he immediately laughed after.

I sat at the passenger seat and waited for Yunho to start driving but he kept on looking at the back where San and the guy was. 

“San has been hugging that guy for minutes and he still hasn’t introduce him to us” I laughed and told him to give him time.

“San is planning to make that guy his bestfriend isn’t he?” I nodded at Seonghwa’s question while smiling.

“Well the guy sure likes San to be holding him like that. Can’t believe San made a bestfriend and it hasn’t been a day after he joined our journey!” Yeosang ranted while laughing.

I continued smiling while looking at them. The guy sure found something in San that he was looking for.

One more person left and he was just near the studio, the vision was at a school’s basketball court. Mingi pointed out that there was a school near the studio and it has a outdoor basketball court.

Yunho volunteered to talk to the guy cause he felt the strong connection while I was explaining the boy’s situation. 

‘A lost of a close person’ I taught while shaking my head.

While waiting for Yunho and the other guy I went outside to greet San and the boy he was still hugging.

“San” I said signaling him that I was infront of them. 

San let go of the guy and pointed at me. The boy has soft features but he really looked broken, more broken than Seonghwa. 

“Hi Im Hongjo—“ “Captain Hongjoong, its nice to meet you” he immediately cut me off but it made me smile. 

They really be using Captain Hongjoong, that’s nice.

“I’m Wooyoung” He introduced and offered his hand, I immediately accept and shook it.

“It’s nice to meet you Wooyoung, I hope you don’t mind our little adventure” He shakes his head and smiled.

“Not at all, you’re taking your time to save us all. A small adventure together aint a big deal” 

“Hongjoong we really appreciate you saving us, I would be lost or dead by now if I was still wondering in the streets” San said while smiling at me.

“No problem” I said

“We all have a soul connection, don’t we?” Wooyoung asked and I only responded with a nod.

“This is amazing!” San yelled why hugging Wooyoung again.

Yunho soon arrived with Jongho, the guy introduced himself as. He was the youngest among all of us and he was quiet shy because he didn’t expect a big crowd. 

He was clutching on Yunho’s shirt, shaking and almost in tears. Seonghwa immediately did his mother duties and talked to Jongho while comforting him. Yeosang and Mingi also joined their conversation while trying to comfort the shy kid.

Jongho knew who I was apparently, he had listen to few of my songs that I have posted online for fun. He also knew San and Mingi because he had bumb into them a few times in different convenient stores.

”Don’t worry Jongho, this is your new family” Seonghwa said.

I smiled looking at 7 of them, I saved them all and I promise to protect them with all of my heart.

“Black Fedora Man thank you for leading me to a family” I whispered while I went to the drivers seat and started the engine. 

“Lets find our treasure”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twt: Sanniesideup_ and on wattpad: peachjisoo ❤️
> 
> more fanfics to come so staytune


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